Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
