dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You know, be my cock's hype man.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
