It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
