I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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