your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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