I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
