No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think we might need a safe word for this...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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