Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
