Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
