This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
