You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
