apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
