she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize