Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
