dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
