If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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