we're blogging at a bar
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
