omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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