Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
