is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize