Who wears a wallet chain?!
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize