hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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