My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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