I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
