Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
