A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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