It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
