For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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