It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
