I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
