and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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