I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
