Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
