so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
