I'm going to jail i love you
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
