obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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