dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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