making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize