Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im drinking this country out of the recession.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
