Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
