It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
