If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My bed smells like the plague
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