smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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