somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
