How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize