What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
