i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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