toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
