just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
