I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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