maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
false alarm, still single
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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