I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
