Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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