I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize