Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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