I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
