just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
