Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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