when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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