the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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