she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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